Sacramento Sucks
Sacramento is the worst city to play in ever.
Recently, Ron Artest was ready to be traded to the Sacramento Kings for Peja. Artest cancelled the deal because he did not want to play for Sacramento.
Now, most journalists slammed on Ron citing this recent action as another example of someone that will be a cancer to a team. While there may be some merit to these claims, I think Artest is in the right with this one. Who wants to play in Sacramento? Remember when Shaq said that he couldn’t wait for Chris Webber to leave so that the team can return to expansionism? Chris Webber was traded and, guess what, they are the Lakers without Kobe Bryant.
Lakers - Kobe Bryant = CBA team
CBA Team = Expansionism
Expansionism = The Sacramento Kings
Have you ever been to Sacramento? It is the dirtiest and one of the most pathetic cities ever. There’s a reason Phil Jackson, who live in MONTANA, thinks that people from Sacramento are uncivilized. Here is an actual picture of a normal family in Sacramento:
I have beef for your mouths, bitches.
Sacramento is the capital of California because they wanted to keep all the idiots in one city.
Evolution proven.
There is also nothing to visit in Sacramento except shit that you could visit in the third world country. You can check out all the shitty ass places that you can visit at their shitty ass website. Here are some of the stupid places that you can visit in Sacramento:
The California State Railroad Museum
Located in Old Sacramento, the California State Railroad Museum is a complex of historic facilities and unique attractions. Widely regarded as one of North America’s finest and most visited railroad museums, there is something here for everyone!
Wow. I can either put a needle through my dickhole, or I can visit a railroad museum and look at the history of train tracks. I picked the needle in my dickhole. I hope they include the part where they got Chinese slaves to build them. That’s always a fun part to share to the whole family. It is THE finest railroad museum.
Fairytale Town
Home to a friendly menagerie of animals from the pages of favorite children’s stories, children can meet Peter Rabbit at Mr. McGregor’s Garden and see the sheep that Mary brought to school one day. Small gardeners can help water seasonal vegetable beds and seek out a sprouting alphabet. Meet some of Fairytale Town’s animals and see the gardens.
You have got to be shitting me. Peter Rabbit? Peter Rabbit is a poor man’s Winnie the Pooh. And people that hang on to Winnie the Pooh putting stupid ass Eeyore or Piglet stickers on their cars and shit are the kind of people that got molested by their pet when they put peanut butter on their balls. This town had to be designed by Michael Jackson. Feel free to be a dumbshit and take your kids to this place.
Sacramento Mall
Sutter’s Fort
“Nothing can stop this emigration.” So wrote John Sutter to American Consul Thomas Larkin - and he was right! The years before the Gold Rush were only the beginning of emigration to California. By March 1846, there were many American families living in and around Sutter’s Fort.
LMFAO. Who the shit gives a buttfuck about the Gold Rush? You can come to San Diego for their beaches, Atlanta for their city life, Chicago for Wrigley Field, or you can check out a museum dedicated to some dude named John Sutter and the Gold Rush. Hey, I think I’ll go to Las Vegas for the hookers and get syphilis before I check out an entire museum on the Gold Rush.
You ever seen March of the Penguins? In the deleted scenes, they have penguins who lost their way.
Penguins in need of a GPS.
And there are even some areas of Sac that not everyone can have access to:
Why is he not allowed in Sac Town?
Well, with all those shitty places to visit, at least you can check out the Sacramento Kings. They have great stars there like…alright who am I kidding…the only way the Kings could be interesting and entertaining is by slapping my dick on Mike Bibby’s face while he dribbles down the lane. And it’s only interesting because my balls are so fucking huge.
One thing’s for sure, if you’re from Sac Town, we don’t want you in our town.
Fuck you, bitch.
Now, for some reason, Artest ended up approving of the deal…at least for now. He must have changed his opinion because he realized he’s a savage idiot just like everyone in Sacramento. For sometime there was talk on splitting Northern and Southern California into two states. No Cal claimed it was because So Cal stole all their water, but it was really because So Cal thought Sacramento, even a zillion miles away, was lowering their property tax because Sacramento looks like 200,000 aborted babies put in one area.
Fuck Sacramento.