Some Dish Network Gems
Some of you know I been pissed at Dish Network for dropping GolTV. Since then, I been sending them an email everyday. Here are some gems:
I took a crap today and named it Dish Network because it took away my GolTV 3 days after I signed up.
Next time you try to rape me by taking away GolTV 3 days after I sign up, you’ll try to pull my pants down and you’ll get a 6 foot boner uppercut.
Today I found a curly, short hair of indeterminate origin in my tuna salad sandwich and I consumed it anyway having become accustomed to consuming repugnant things like after Dish Network took my GolTv away 3 days after I signed a contract with them. Thank you for teaching me to accept hairy food.
And here’s my favorite. This is in response to them telling me Dish had greater value than DirecTV:
Are you serious? The best value is me driving to my friend’s house to watch the only channel I care about as I told your retailer rather than staying home to watch like I had when I was using DirecTV?
What other values are you going to get me? A free service to kill my dog? With a chance to upgrade my Dish package by making me drive to the bar to watch channels I had before? Thank you so much for giving me the value of wasting my gas to drive to my friend’s to watch channels I had when I was on DirecTV. I’ll be sure to consider the rape my daughter package when I get a chance.