How to start fights like Patrick N
Everyone has to prove their worth as a man. Some do it by getting a job to pay for shit their chick needs. Others do it by hugging other men and crying at some retreat called “Manfest.” If you want to be a real man, however, you should just start fights. Nothing is more primal and manly as starting a fight. But like in the movie “Fight Club,” it’s not easy to start a fight, especially since no one is really as manly as you are for starting one. So here is how to start a fight properly:
Step 1: Give someone a dirty look
Women talk a lot. When they start fights, they always talk shit behind each others’ backs or through other people (i.e. gossip). Men just stare. We don’t need to say shit. We stare at a fucker and he should know what’s up. If he gives you a look like WTF are you doing get away, you either a) already won because he’s a pussy or b) are dealing with a moron and have to go to the next step to start a fight.
Step 2: Spit on his face
Nothing is more insulting than spitting on someone’s face. In the old days, you used to throw down a challenge by drawing a line in the sand. Then it escalated into taking off your glove and slapping a guy in the face. Unfortunately, the romantic era came and we as men regressed into moronic ideas such as “peace” and “negotiate.” Luckily, spitting in someone’s face is sure to get someone’s attention enough to start a fight with you. If they don’t fight you after spitting in their face, that fucker is scared.
Once you get your victim’s attention and you’re about to fight, now it’s time to really start the fight with the next step.
Step 3: Tell your five friends in the car to come out
Bitch, shouldn’t have started a fight with you. Now someone’s going to get fucked up, and if you followed my steps, it won’t be you.